Well! I've often seen a cat without a grin; but a grin without a cat?

Swinging in the rain~

2009-05-11T21:51:00.000-07:00

Four days until I can legally make a fool of myself; five until the entire universe comes together and implodes!

What a grand weekend, I can't wait! In the mean time I have to somehow not get so excited and distracted that I get absolutely nothing done with my line at school! So much sewing and fitting and buying of fabric, I don't know what to do with myself!

Also, I've decided I really want to take a trip to the Children's Museum in Indianapolis.

How cool would that be? They have a huge hall where you can walk in and see what it feels like to be inside of a kaleidoscope.

Not to mention how epic their butterfly room looks, just from the outside!

On another note lately I've been going swing dancing with my little brother Ethan and his friends at Century Ballroom on Capitol Hill. I'm not very good, but it's really fun! I want to learn the shim sham....
Here's Ethan and his friend Melissa doing a move they made up called the Titanic!

Hello June!

2009-05-06T12:15:00.000-07:00

Woohoo, soooo my Graduation is June 19th!! I don't know the info about the actual ceremony yet, other than that it's at 1pm and probably in Southcenter, but on the next day, (the 20th), I'm having a party at my house in Bothell. There will be lots of yummy food and stuff! So let me know if you can come!
It's going to start at 1pm, but by about 5pm all of the grandparents and what not will probably peace out, leaving the rest of the night to whoever wants to kick it.

Let me know if your interested!
And if you want an official snailmail invite post yer address~~ lol

X3

Buried Treasure

2009-05-04T17:55:00.001-07:00

Well, it's been a crazy couple of weeks once again. Dressed up like a wizard, went to a savvy ramen shop, went swing dancing, had Valentine's day late (or early, depending on how you look at it), hiked up Little Si, buried treasure, had picnics, went to my first American bar and had my 21st birthday a couple of weeks early, puked all the next day and then went to the Hannah Montana movie with my sister, and even learned the 'hoedown throwdown'.

Laura and I volunteered at Gryffincore, although we ended up not really being needed, haha. It turned out cool, and it was really fun ^_^ I like the idea of daytime parties.
Wizaaaard!

I had an awesome picnic with Ashley and Sydney <3 We ate, drank, painted and soaked up some vitamin D!

I had some treasure to bury, so when we ran into Keith he showed us the perfect place for it! And off we went...

In the secret grotto...

I have been working on my projects for the fashion show at the end of the year... the dress I am making for Sun to wear is almost done... I painted the octopus monster on it last night! It looks so good in real life, I'm so relieved. I wasn't sure how the fabric paint would work out, and the fabric is really expensive... this phone picture doesn't do it justice, but it gives you an idea!

Robots need love too

2009-04-24T13:45:00.000-07:00

Well, Ethan (my little brother who ran away) is finally coming home. Not sure when, but it's been agreed on. And my other little brother Phillip (the one who kept leaving rehab to do heroin) is here right now.. and he's been doing meth. I feel like my world is crashing around me, my stomach goes through the floor just looking at him. He is so, so, so fucked up. I wonder if my family realized how fucked up I was now that I see it for myself.
I don't know what to do.
Nobody made me quit, you have to choose to. It really kills me to see him like this. He's way less responsible than I ever was, and in way deeper than I ever was. My grandma's funeral is in a couple of hours, and it's bringing everyone together physically, but it doesn't feel like it's bringing us together in any other way.

It's too nice of a day for a funeral.

Also.. yesterday at school a certain nameless person finally spoke to me. After acting like a tool and treating me like I was invisible, he finally got the balls to apologize for everything. It worked out for the best in the end, I feel like I finally got some closure. No more ducking into random classrooms when I see him in the halls.

I reallly don't feel like going to a funeral, it's so sunny and bright. And it's Friday! Oh well.. off I go.

PS. On a happier note, I got my tax return! (Nick if you read this next time dinner's on me)!

The creeps on the bus go 'round and 'round.

2009-04-23T18:48:00.000-07:00

Yum. I drew this cake on the bus today, it is for all the birthdays this spring, yummy yum!

Actually, ever since I played Portal I can't stop thinking about cake... it's.... consuming me. :( Damn you GlaDOS, damn you.

In any case, this has been a very up and down week. I have been drawing a lot, because I keep forgetting my book and/or to charge my iPod... therefore leaving me with creeps staring at me and me without something to look at. (AVOID EYE CONTACT AT ALL COSTS).

LAST Thursday, for example. I made eye contact. First mistake. The guy who sat between me and freedom started talking to me about what I was drawing. Second mistake. It happened to be a hot girl.

I humored him for a while but tried to just keep looking back at my crappy sketchbook.

This is when he started jacking off underneath his gangster hoodie.

I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye in horror, and yes, indeed, that sure was what he was doing. He started breathing really heavy, and every few minutes he would stop, talk to me, and then continue.

I couldn't sprint off that bus quick enough..

Why does this keep happening to me?!

Tipsy Update~~

2009-04-19T00:14:00.000-07:00

Welll, I have been pretty darn swell the past couple of weeks.. with the exception of a couple of hiccups. This update is coming to you at 12:30 in the morning after winning my first game of wizard... (if you don't know what it is you're missing out). thank goodness for spell check.

Sakura Con was pretty super, my pal Meescha has awesome parents who payed for our hotel room and foood, and we made super awesome props!

I have pictures of the first costume, pictures of the second one are still on their way...

I'll post the Eruka pictures when I get them.. :)

Other than Sakura Con, I have been up to things such as school.. which I am done with in August. This is going to make summer very stressful, but it will be worth it!!

Family matters have also been a big part of the past month.. both of my little brothers have disappeared. Phillip ditched rehab again and is back to doing heroin, and Ethan ran away, leaving a note about how he felt like he was "a fuck up and should leave to make everyone's life better".

Ethan I know will be back eventually, he's a smart kid and he's not into anything to extreme, but Phillip is starting to make me worry. I get calls from people I know saying that they see him here or there, looking fucked up and not so hot.. I just hope he can get the strength to stop before it kills him.

My grandma Sally died yesterday, to ice the cake a bit. I found out today when I got home. It makes me worry about my grandpa, she was what he lived for. :/ It's sad to see someone hurting so badly.

That aside, I have actually been having a good amount of fun. I still haven't found a job. Although it's stressful to be so broke it sure leaves time for things. I have gotten to go on adventures with Nick! We've gotten to eat a lot of yummy food, explore Pike Place market, infiltrate secret spots in Georgetown, make sushi at Golden Gardens, and explore back alleys, walk streets filled with mansions and the Japanese gardens by the arboretum.. I've also gotten to sleep a ton more than I usually do... :D Mm sleep.

Since Laura moved back from eastern Washington I have gotten to see a lot more of her as well <3

One thing that IS lacking in my life at the moment however...
Sydney Alexis Smith.

I miss you girl. <3

Sakura Con Ikimashou!!!

2009-04-01T12:09:00.000-07:00

Well Sakura Con is in a week and a half, and most of my time has been dedicated to sewing costumes for OTHER people in order to get enough money to fund my own ^______^ Which I am getting close! I decided this year I wanted to make a big prop, so I decided on Chise from Saikano, which I just finished the last episode today!

I bought all of the stuff to build the gun yesterday.... XD bahh. I'm running so low on funds.

I'm also doing Eruka from Soul Eater <3333

Just so you know where I've disappeared to, it's nerdy self slavery~~~

so much to do.

Please Remain Calm

2009-03-26T19:37:00.000-07:00

Last night while I was upset I sat on my bed and listened to music and painted. Green makes me feel alive.

I don't know, I still feel weird and lethargic and sad. It's not just because of yesterday being the shooting anniversary, I just don't feel like writing about anything else that's going on.

Another part of me feels like I'm rediscovering myself and getting in touch with things I almost started to let slip away.

Never let go of adventure!

I tremble.

2009-03-25T20:44:00.000-07:00

Today marks the 3 year anniversary of the Capitol Hill shooting that took the lives of my friends.

I didn't cry until I wrote that sentence. Now I can't stop.
I've been trying to act like I wasn't bothered, I am even sitting at home instead of going to the memorial I used to volunteer to help run. But I guess it just wasn't registering. I actually haven't thought about for a while... and now it's hitting me just like it always does when I really sit and let myself feel.

If it wasn't for the fact that Sakura Con was that weekend I would probably be dead. Jesiah spent the entire night talking me into going to their house after the party, and I was super excited about it. I had to take Sun back to the hotel room we had for the convention and ended up passing out in the window sill before I could drive up the street to their house. When I woke up I had a full inbox and voicemailbox and countless missed calls, people trying to figure out if I was alive, and if I knew who wasn't.

I just don't see how some fucking guy from Montana with too many guns could find himself capable of shooting up a house full of wonderful kids who invited him to their party when they had just met him. Including a fucking 14 year old and 15 year old girl. I just don't fucking get it. I look at my little sister and try to imagine if she had been the one standing on someone's porch talking to her friend when some guy walks up and shoots them both, it makes me want to scream.

I don't know... writing about it is making me feel sick. I wish I had gone to the memorial.

I wish I could at least buy a stiff drink.

In Loving Memory...
Melissa, Suzanne, Justin, Chris, Jeremy and Jason.

♥

While you're cleaning up your mess the teacher's looking up your skirt.

2009-03-22T13:21:00.000-07:00

I have been having a crazy month... a lot of fun mixed in with a lot of NOT fun. I am finally getting over my death plague... and finals are finally over. I have 6 months of school left, and it can not go by fast enough. The sooner I graduate the sooner I can make enough money to move out of this crazy house and into a cute place with Squidney.

I am too tired to even get started on my stress involving money, but it's bad. But at least I can get away from it and go explore some abandoned buildings with the pirate and curl up with Syd and watch our guilty pleasure. (Which happened to come out on DVD yesterday... *cough*)

Ew... and last night when I was leaving Keith's house to bus to a party for school, some guy who looked a lot like Snoop Dog fucking came up and grabbed my ass, causing me to half jump into the bushes and start yelling at him. And then when I finally got to the bus stop some 50 plus year old man named Chocolate D persisted in trying to get my phone number. What the hell?

Anyway...

Been messing around with gouache lately..

Bandit likes to watch me paint~

My friend Joel insisted on me making him a picture of a dinosaur killing robots... he was supposed to draw a schoolgirl brawl for me but I haven't seen anything yet T_T (watercolor)

I finally went to rainforest cafe! It was really cool XD haha. There was a thunderstorm... I felt like a total tourist or something... this is Joyce and Meescha, the two girls I spend all my time with while at school.

There were giant moving butterflies!

And big fat mushrooms of love.

Later that day I went on adventures with Nick! Including an art walk, free Jones Soda and scaling this water tower that secretly is holding some sort of mad science experiment gone wrong.

The inside... (that's where they keep the experiments)

The view from the top was really amazing.

Welll, finals are over. But the stress is not. I still have so much to do for Sakura Con, not to mention finding a job and applying for scholarships.... X_X Bah.

I had fun in the Mac Lab though.. best part of last quarter.

Well to wonderfully end this update that I just did sitting here without any pants or underpants on, my brother just walked in!

How embarassing.

x___x;

breakfast of champions

2009-03-03T10:57:00.000-08:00

Welll since Sydney and Suzye did a random old photo dump a while ago I figured I'd do it this way for fun... man I have so many crazy memories crammed into my 20 years of living. It weirds me out sometimes.

1. A picture of you in your room.

2. a picture with someone you don't actually like.

haha~jkjk..

3. a picture of you very drunk.

4. a picture on your birthday.

5. the youngest picture you can find of yourself in digital form.

6. a picture of you in one of your favorite outfits
cause I'm a class ho~~

7. a picture of you making a goofy face.

8. a picture you might have edited to make yourself more attractive.

9. a picture of a night you regret.

10. a picture of you truly being yourself.

11. the most recent picture of you.

12. a picture of you being absolutely ridiculous.

13. a picture of you showing off your new hair cut/color.

14. a picture of a time in your life that's over & you wish wasn't.

15. a picture of a time in your life that's over & you couldn't be more thankful.

16. a picture of you when you were anything but happy.

17. a picture that you had no idea was being taken.

18. a picture of when you were a different person than you are now.

19. a picture of you with someone you love.
my big sister~

20. a picture of how you'd like the world to see you.
a hot nerd/hamtaro fucker!

22. a picture of a time when everything was changing.

23. a picture that makes your heart hurt.

24. a picture that makes your heart smile.

25. a picture that's one of the best nights of your life..

I'm kinda like you.

2009-02-23T22:05:00.000-08:00

Dear Sydney,

I don't really know how to tell you this, but I'm in love with your cat. I think I realized it when I threw up in your sock drawer at the Elton John concert and I saw you sit on my salt-beef bucket. I'm sure you're middle-class enough to understand the middle-east is planning their revenge on you. I'm returning the pictures from Vegas to you, but I'll keep my virginity as a memory. You should also know that I love your sweet, sweet ass and you should get that embarrassing rash checked.

Go milk a cow,
Bekah

In other news... this weekend was abso-lute-ly ridiculous. I feel like my stage show is starting to be more work than it's worth, at least right now while I am so close to finishing school. While out visiting in the smoking area of the club, some skinny high-as-all-hell scenester kid decided it would be a greaaat idea to run down the stairs to the outside and projectile vomit all over my back. This was followed by some rather frustrating behavior from a certain individual that I'm not even going to get started on. We weren't on until one in the morning, and I had been there since 4pm setting up and rehearsing. The actual performance was the only fun part of the night. And once it was over I couldn't get anyone to drop my off at Sydney's house. Thanks to Laura I was at least able to make it to MY house, but not until almost 5 in the morning. Raves are stupid. I then proceeded to cry like a baby and pass out, only to find out I somehow knocked the battery out of my stupid Hello Kitty alarm clock, causing me to miss out on a day of fun and much needed wonderful company.

The icing on the cake is that I left my toolbox on the bus with ALL of my sewing equipment (hundreds of dollars worth) and hours upon hours worth of homework in it. That was Thursday and as of today Metro still hasn't found it, so I give up.

All in all though, I still feel optimistic. I feel like there are some really good changes ahead, and I can't wait to see what life and summer bring.

When all else fails, there's always matrix dinner fights.

You complete me~

2009-02-18T15:35:00.000-08:00

Sooo I have been getting super stressed between school and money, and yesterday I almost had a panic attack just thinking too hard about it. I owe my school money, and I have to get work done on my teeth that's gonna cost me 200 bucks. But if I dont fix it soon it will just get worse and result in having to get a root canal or something which will REALLY cost me X_X I don't know what to do~~ Bah! And nobody wants to hire a part time chick with pink hair and no car.

But ANYWAY, I was stressing out hardcore, and I told myself to just breath and chill out. I bussed to Sydney's house just to get away from my surroundings and we drank tea and talked about boys and all that jazz. This morning I put on some bird and the bee and bussed to school feeling %100 better. Everything is gonna happen one way or another, and it's all gonna be cool.

I got some cool new pens at Daiso for a buck so I drew this on the bus~

Also a few weekends ago Sydney, Chad and I ran into a GIGANTIC wiener-mobile!!

OH I also have a morbid fascination with this person's weird ass drawings.

McD girl--Colored by ~IamBBchick on deviant ART

I said OOH girl...

2009-02-13T11:45:00.001-08:00

So, amidst the crazy midterms I currently am getting bent over and intruded by, I still somehow found time to bleach my hair and have like a fifth of it break off to a couple inches, resulting in a really intense emergency haircut at my old work (Hair Club for Men). It's really embarrassing going into a high end 'salon' for the first time after quitting with the most ridiculous chemical haircut pleading for help.

RIP hair, I tried to grow you out for a couple years after my mohawk, but apparently you had other plans.

Tonight I am going to Hater's Ball, because it's at a skate park and because it's five dollars. <3>

Kids

2009-01-03T19:46:00.000-08:00

Okay okay.. since a serious dent in my core group of friends has stuck to just blogger, I'm giving in. Mainly because I just miss reading their thoughts. <3

Might as well start of a new year with a new journal. I just got the last of the rice out of my hair from our rice fight! I have a great feeling about this next year. I guess the only real promise or 'resolution' I've made to myself is to be true to myself and be more proactive about expressing myself through painting and sketching, on top of sewing. I'm psyched. I will be turning 21 in May, graduating at the end of the summer, and hopefully moving into a super-fantastic house with Sydney in the fall <3

We got this, girl. Freaks and geeks unite<3

I also want to make more of an effort to travel, even if it's just down to Olympia to see Suzye, Randy and Zucchero. I can't wait until I'm done with school and living on my own, as much as I absolutely adore my family. I just feel like it's wayyy time to do things on my own. I'm done with "my mom said I can't"s.

Buuut anyway, I think it's about time to cuddle up with Bandit and watch My Neighbor Totoro (again). Enjoy my last Saturday before I'm back to school...

Blogger, huh....

2008-10-03T23:40:00.000-07:00

I'm still skeptical~! ~(o___o)9;;;;