Buried Treasure

Well, it's been a crazy couple of weeks once again. Dressed up like a wizard, went to a savvy ramen shop, went swing dancing, had Valentine's day late (or early, depending on how you look at it), hiked up Little Si, buried treasure, had picnics, went to my first American bar and had my 21st birthday a couple of weeks early, puked all the next day and then went to the Hannah Montana movie with my sister, and even learned the 'hoedown throwdown'.

Laura and I volunteered at Gryffincore, although we ended up not really being needed, haha. It turned out cool, and it was really fun ^_^ I like the idea of daytime parties.
Wizaaaard!






I had an awesome picnic with Ashley and Sydney <3 We ate, drank, painted and soaked up some vitamin D!







I had some treasure to bury, so when we ran into Keith he showed us the perfect place for it! And off we went...


























In the secret grotto...



































I have been working on my projects for the fashion show at the end of the year... the dress I am making for Sun to wear is almost done... I painted the octopus monster on it last night! It looks so good in real life, I'm so relieved. I wasn't sure how the fabric paint would work out, and the fabric is really expensive... this phone picture doesn't do it justice, but it gives you an idea!

Robots need love too

Well, Ethan (my little brother who ran away) is finally coming home. Not sure when, but it's been agreed on. And my other little brother Phillip (the one who kept leaving rehab to do heroin) is here right now.. and he's been doing meth. I feel like my world is crashing around me, my stomach goes through the floor just looking at him. He is so, so, so fucked up. I wonder if my family realized how fucked up I was now that I see it for myself.
I don't know what to do.
Nobody made me quit, you have to choose to. It really kills me to see him like this. He's way less responsible than I ever was, and in way deeper than I ever was. My grandma's funeral is in a couple of hours, and it's bringing everyone together physically, but it doesn't feel like it's bringing us together in any other way.

It's too nice of a day for a funeral.

Also.. yesterday at school a certain nameless person finally spoke to me. After acting like a tool and treating me like I was invisible, he finally got the balls to apologize for everything. It worked out for the best in the end, I feel like I finally got some closure. No more ducking into random classrooms when I see him in the halls.

I reallly don't feel like going to a funeral, it's so sunny and bright. And it's Friday! Oh well.. off I go.

PS. On a happier note, I got my tax return! (Nick if you read this next time dinner's on me)!

The creeps on the bus go 'round and 'round.

Yum. I drew this cake on the bus today, it is for all the birthdays this spring, yummy yum! 

Actually, ever since I played Portal I can't stop thinking about cake... it's.... consuming me. :( Damn you GlaDOS, damn you.

In any case, this has been a very up and down week. I have been drawing a lot, because I keep forgetting my book and/or to charge my iPod... therefore leaving me with creeps staring at me and me without something to look at. (AVOID EYE CONTACT AT ALL COSTS).

LAST Thursday, for example. I made eye contact. First mistake. The guy who sat between me and freedom started talking to me about what I was drawing. Second mistake. It happened to be a hot girl.

I humored him for a while but tried to just keep looking back at my crappy sketchbook.

This is when he started jacking off underneath his gangster hoodie.

I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye in horror, and yes, indeed, that sure was what he was doing. He started breathing really heavy, and every few minutes he would stop, talk to me, and then continue.

I couldn't sprint off that bus quick enough..

Why does this keep happening to me?!

Tipsy Update~~

Welll, I have been pretty darn swell the past couple of weeks.. with the exception of a couple of hiccups. This update is coming to you at 12:30 in the morning after winning my first game of wizard... (if you don't know what it is you're missing out). thank goodness for spell check.

Sakura Con was pretty super, my pal Meescha has awesome parents who payed for our hotel room and foood, and we made super awesome props!

I have pictures of the first costume, pictures of the second one are still on their way...

















I'll post the Eruka pictures when I get them.. :)

Other than Sakura Con, I have been up to things such as school.. which I am done with in August. This is going to make summer very stressful, but it will be worth it!!

Family matters have also been a big part of the past month.. both of my little brothers have disappeared. Phillip ditched rehab again and is back to doing heroin, and Ethan ran away, leaving a note about how he felt like he was "a fuck up and should leave to make everyone's life better".

Ethan I know will be back eventually, he's a smart kid and he's not into anything to extreme, but Phillip is starting to make me worry. I get calls from people I know saying that they see him here or there, looking fucked up and not so hot.. I just hope he can get the strength to stop before it kills him.

My grandma Sally died yesterday, to ice the cake a bit. I found out today when I got home. It makes me worry about my grandpa, she was what he lived for. :/ It's sad to see someone hurting so badly.

That aside, I have actually been having a good amount of fun. I still haven't found a job. Although it's stressful to be so broke it sure leaves time for things. I have gotten to go on adventures with Nick! We've gotten to eat a lot of yummy food, explore Pike Place market, infiltrate secret spots in Georgetown, make sushi at Golden Gardens, and explore back alleys, walk streets filled with mansions and the Japanese gardens by the arboretum.. I've also gotten to sleep a ton more than I usually do... :D Mm sleep.

Since Laura moved back from eastern Washington I have gotten to see a lot more of her as well <3

One thing that IS lacking in my life at the moment however...
Sydney Alexis Smith.


I miss you girl. <3

Sakura Con Ikimashou!!!

Well Sakura Con is in a week and a half, and most of my time has been dedicated to sewing costumes for OTHER people in order to get enough money to fund my own ^______^ Which I am getting close! I decided this year I wanted to make a big prop, so I decided on Chise from Saikano, which I just finished the last episode today!



I bought all of the stuff to build the gun yesterday.... XD bahh. I'm running so low on funds.

I'm also doing Eruka from Soul Eater <3333


Just so you know where I've disappeared to, it's nerdy self slavery~~~


so much to do.

Please Remain Calm

Last night while I was upset I sat on my bed and listened to music and painted. Green makes me feel alive.



I don't know, I still feel weird and lethargic and sad. It's not just because of yesterday being the shooting anniversary, I just don't feel like writing about anything else that's going on.

Another part of me feels like I'm rediscovering myself and getting in touch with things I almost started to let slip away.

Never let go of adventure!

I tremble.

Today marks the 3 year anniversary of the Capitol Hill shooting that took the lives of my friends.

I didn't cry until I wrote that sentence. Now I can't stop.
I've been trying to act like I wasn't bothered, I am even sitting at home instead of going to the memorial I used to volunteer to help run. But I guess it just wasn't registering. I actually haven't thought about for a while... and now it's hitting me just like it always does when I really sit and let myself feel.

If it wasn't for the fact that Sakura Con was that weekend I would probably be dead. Jesiah spent the entire night talking me into going to their house after the party, and I was super excited about it. I had to take Sun back to the hotel room we had for the convention and ended up passing out in the window sill before I could drive up the street to their house. When I woke up I had a full inbox and voicemailbox and countless missed calls, people trying to figure out if I was alive, and if I knew who wasn't.

I just don't see how some fucking guy from Montana with too many guns could find himself capable of shooting up a house full of wonderful kids who invited him to their party when they had just met him. Including a fucking 14 year old and 15 year old girl. I just don't fucking get it. I look at my little sister and try to imagine if she had been the one standing on someone's porch talking to her friend when some guy walks up and shoots them both, it makes me want to scream.

I don't know... writing about it is making me feel sick. I wish I had gone to the memorial.

I wish I could at least buy a stiff drink.

In Loving Memory...
Melissa, Suzanne, Justin, Chris, Jeremy and Jason.

♥