I didn't cry until I wrote that sentence. Now I can't stop.
I've been trying to act like I wasn't bothered, I am even sitting at home instead of going to the memorial I used to volunteer to help run. But I guess it just wasn't registering. I actually haven't thought about for a while... and now it's hitting me just like it always does when I really sit and let myself feel.
If it wasn't for the fact that Sakura Con was that weekend I would probably be dead. Jesiah spent the entire night talking me into going to their house after the party, and I was super excited about it. I had to take Sun back to the hotel room we had for the convention and ended up passing out in the window sill before I could drive up the street to their house. When I woke up I had a full inbox and voicemailbox and countless missed calls, people trying to figure out if I was alive, and if I knew who wasn't.
I just don't see how some fucking guy from Montana with too many guns could find himself capable of shooting up a house full of wonderful kids who invited him to their party when they had just met him. Including a fucking 14 year old and 15 year old girl. I just don't fucking get it. I look at my little sister and try to imagine if she had been the one standing on someone's porch talking to her friend when some guy walks up and shoots them both, it makes me want to scream.
I don't know... writing about it is making me feel sick. I wish I had gone to the memorial.
I wish I could at least buy a stiff drink.
Melissa, Suzanne, Justin, Chris, Jeremy and Jason.
♥
1 comment:
To think, I would never have met you had tragedy struck you also. A sobering thought that one. I'm infinitely glad that your love of anime kept you with us. Well, stay safe and I hope to see you soon.
Post a Comment